The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Hair) of Nicolas Cage

Recently, I saw two movies in theaters just weekends apart. What made the experiences so similar, aside from the overpriced tickets and outrageous concession prices? Terrible trailers for two new Nicolas Cage movies that elicited similar reactions from the audience. I realized that my immediate instinct upon seeing Mr. Cage on the screen was to roll my eyes. This made me think, why does he elicit these reactions from people? So I got to thinking about his career, and this is what I came up with.

The Good

On occasion, he is so over the top and seemingly earnest that one wonders if he's in on the joke of how bad his acting is in that film. Now, some would argue that he is just empirically a bad actor.  I say this isn't the case. Take The Weather Man. Not a good movie, but Cage is restrained and understated, and delivers what is in my mind one of his best roles. Given the right script, costars, and directors, he can actually pull off a decent performance. So here are my favorites. (Before we even start, no, I did not include Con-Air, because while the rest of the cast seems to understand they are in a mindless popcorn flick, he seems to be genuinely attempted to bring a level of pathos to his character.)

1. Moonstruck

The entire movie is intentionally over-dramatic, between Danny Aiello's weeping and Cher's screaming, but even in this film, in which the Italian-American stereotypes runneth over, no one holds a candle to Nic Cage. Depending on your perspective of whether he realizes he's being a ham or not, he gives what is either the greatest comedic performance or the worst dramatic performance of his career, especially in this scene. Do yourself a favor, watch it all the way to the end:



2. Kick-Ass

He shoots his twelve-year-old daughter in the chest. He is disappointed when she asks for a puppy as a birthday gift, and relieved when she reveals it's just a joke and that she really wants knives. He dresses like Batman and destroys countless henchmen in painful ways. He's completely ridiculous, and yet, totally believable as both a vigilante and a devoted father.



3. Adaptation

To be fair, involvement in Charlie Kaufman projects tends to elevate otherwise intolerable actors to some of the better performances of their careers. (See: Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich.) Still, playing dual roles as twin brothers, Cage pulls off not one but two solid performances. His portayal of each brother is nuanced and convincing, to the point that you can easily forget they are both Nic Cage, and actually feel for the characters.



Honorable mention:  Peggy Sue Got Married

If you have not seen this, I urge you to watch it if for nothing other than to hear Cage speak in...well, whatever that voice is supposed to be. And you also get to hear him sing...



The Bad

The examples above makes one ask, why is the rest of his filmography is essentially a string of one bad movie after another? For every Raising Arizona there are three Captain Corelli's Mandolins. His films have frequently bombed at the box office. Just look at the last 10 years on Rotten Tomatoes.  Look at some of those ratings! I've never even heard of some of these movies! Which explains the reactions to his trailers I witnessed recently.

A few weeks ago my fiance and I went with my cousin to see RED, in a pretty full theater. Before the movie started, a trailer began for a new movie with Nic Cage about a guy who escapes from hell. Immediately, grumbling began by my fellow movie-goers. "Is this a sequal to Ghost Rider?" and "WTF" were the most frequently asked questions. As the trailer progressed, after hearing that actress' awful accent and the devil showing up to taunt Nic Cage, many began to ask "Is this for real?" and "Is this a fake trailer?" Finally, once we were all good and confused, the title Drive Angry 3-D appeared on the screen. A hush fell over the crowd, and then I and the man in front of me simply said in unison "Wow," and everyone laughed. The movie looks terrible. It was a unifying experience for us as an audience, and later at dinner we all joked about how unforgettably terrible the trailer was. Observe:



So it was uncanny that the next weekend when the same group went to see Harry Potter, we were treated to another Cage trailer. This time, he's a Crusader, with gross hair (and for some reason Ron Perlman?). The plot wasn't really clear in the trailer, unless of course the movie is as much of a mess as the trailer makes it seem. So, Cage is a crusader, trying to transport this poor girl being accused of witchcraft, only...wait! She is a witch, and she summons demons of hell to fight crusaders? What? In any case, the audience was cracking up. Here, watch for yourself:



So basically that's two back-to-back non-sensical trailers for movies in which Nic Cage transports young girls and the devil is involved. Right.

The Ugly

I don't think I need to elaborate up this point too much, as it is fairly self-evident: in 99.68% of his films, Cage's hair is atrocious. Con-Air. National Treasure (Those sideburns!). Adaptation. The Sorcerer''s Apprentice. Both of his upcoming films.

So finally, we must ask this question:  Does Nicolas Cage make bad movies, or does Nicolas Cage make movies bad?

Vindication!

One of my darling cousins sent me this link earlier today as a follow-up to my Christmas list. Bob Geldof admits that "Do They Know it's Christmas Time at All" is one of the worst songs ever.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/stopthepresses/326331/whats-the-worst-song-in-history/

As an added bonus, he also apologizes for "We Are the World." Now if only we could get apologies for the other songs on the list. One down, nine to go!